Hurry Up and Wait
For the past two days I have been confined to my home waiting for the UPS man.
Good God, man, I have things to do.
Waiting sucks. I suppose this is just desserts after my recent ramblings about the joys of anticipation. I suppose you might be smugly wondering why I am not all filled up with the goodness of what awaits me. Shouldn’t someone with such a fondness for anticipation as mine be pining away patiently, just looking forward to what is to come?
Funny I don’t feel that way. Who wrote that drivel? I’ve changed my mind. It’s all bullshit.
Perhaps I would feel more enamored with the waiting if I were in love with the UPS man. Perhaps these hours would have been filled with daydreaming and moments of tender longing, excitement, goose bumps at the squeal of a truck driving by. But guess what. I am NOT in love with the UPS man. I just want my package.
I want my package and I want out of this house. One woman (a feisty outdoorsy type if I do say so myself) and two small children are not meant to be inside all day. That’s just crazy. I could go insane. I need fresh air. A little circulation. Yes, I am ridden with compulsions. Sue me. Just don’t make me wait at home while your delivery boy is serving me the damned papers.
I am filled with daydreaming and longing. Daydreaming for the UPS man to ring my goddamned doorbell and longing to see his tardy, brown-polyester-clad ass leaving my driveway, his hands empty of my package. It’s mine. I paid for it. Where the hell is it?
I want my freaking package.
Good God, man, I have things to do.
Waiting sucks. I suppose this is just desserts after my recent ramblings about the joys of anticipation. I suppose you might be smugly wondering why I am not all filled up with the goodness of what awaits me. Shouldn’t someone with such a fondness for anticipation as mine be pining away patiently, just looking forward to what is to come?
“When ever will my package arrive? Oh, I just can’t wait! Will it be as wonderful as I think it will? Ah sweet moments before the arrival of the much appreciated UPS man and my long awaited package...”
Funny I don’t feel that way. Who wrote that drivel? I’ve changed my mind. It’s all bullshit.
Perhaps I would feel more enamored with the waiting if I were in love with the UPS man. Perhaps these hours would have been filled with daydreaming and moments of tender longing, excitement, goose bumps at the squeal of a truck driving by. But guess what. I am NOT in love with the UPS man. I just want my package.
I want my package and I want out of this house. One woman (a feisty outdoorsy type if I do say so myself) and two small children are not meant to be inside all day. That’s just crazy. I could go insane. I need fresh air. A little circulation. Yes, I am ridden with compulsions. Sue me. Just don’t make me wait at home while your delivery boy is serving me the damned papers.
I am filled with daydreaming and longing. Daydreaming for the UPS man to ring my goddamned doorbell and longing to see his tardy, brown-polyester-clad ass leaving my driveway, his hands empty of my package. It’s mine. I paid for it. Where the hell is it?
I want my freaking package.
Comments
I hope he has a nice package.
take care
Dan