Moderation
All things in moderation. Or not.
Not at all, actually. How about nothing at all in moderation? Zilch. I don’t do moderation. Not one bit.
Recently, for reasons unknown, it suddenly became obvious to me that I am incapable of achieving anything in a moderate fashion. When I do anything, I do it all the way. Hard-core, to the max, 100%, no sitting down until I’m done.
I’ve thought hard about this and it’s frustrating. Why must I be like that? Can’t I just find a solid middle ground?
I would like to enjoy one glass of wine, maybe even one cigarette after a nice meal. But that’s not in my vocabulary. I can’t have just one drink; I don’t smoke just one cigarette. I’m either on some health kick, drinking nothing but sparkling water, or I finish a bottle of wine and a pack of smokes in one sitting.
I would like to have a good job that I enjoy and is well balanced with the other facets of my life. But I’m always scrambling to balance work and home, working too many hours until I’m exhausted to the point of burn-out, blowing the whole thing off until I get so behind I start the whole cycle all over again.
I would like to maintain reasonable good health, exercise a few times a week. But no. I’m either in the gym at 6 a.m. daily for months at a time, or my ass is on the couch. Either I’m feeling great and training for some athletic event or I’m too fat for my clothes and I’m stressing out about it, sitting in WeightWatchers meetings.
I would like to be in touch with my God and my spiritual side. But I’m either skipping synagogue for months at a time until I feel miserably disconnected or I’m going multiple times a week and I’ve caved in to being on this committee or that. (See previous comments on burn-out).
Right now I’m in a good place. I’m healthy. I’m trim. I’ve got my God working for me and I’m trying to work for God too (as we believers are wont to do). But I’m tired. I work, I run, I do yoga, I go to the gym, I go to play dates, I go to dinners and happy hours, I read when I can, and then I go home and hide in my closet or in the bath tub or in my space.
I’ve got two kids, two jobs, one writer’s group, one playgroup, one synagogue. I’ve got active projects: two short stories I can’t seem to finish and a novel waiting to be written. I’ve got friends I miss and need to see more of and acquaintances that I see too often because it’s hard to say no.
I was feeling kind of bad about the fact that I can’t seem to hit a happy medium in any area of my life, until I found this quote:
Fine. Excellent, in fact. I’ll take it just like that. I embrace it. I’m done fighting it. Today, I get it. I admit it. Screw mediocrity.
Summer should be hot, work should be hard, laughter should be loud (and mine is). Life should be lived.
The middle ground can get bent.
Not at all, actually. How about nothing at all in moderation? Zilch. I don’t do moderation. Not one bit.
Recently, for reasons unknown, it suddenly became obvious to me that I am incapable of achieving anything in a moderate fashion. When I do anything, I do it all the way. Hard-core, to the max, 100%, no sitting down until I’m done.
I’ve thought hard about this and it’s frustrating. Why must I be like that? Can’t I just find a solid middle ground?
I would like to enjoy one glass of wine, maybe even one cigarette after a nice meal. But that’s not in my vocabulary. I can’t have just one drink; I don’t smoke just one cigarette. I’m either on some health kick, drinking nothing but sparkling water, or I finish a bottle of wine and a pack of smokes in one sitting.
I would like to have a good job that I enjoy and is well balanced with the other facets of my life. But I’m always scrambling to balance work and home, working too many hours until I’m exhausted to the point of burn-out, blowing the whole thing off until I get so behind I start the whole cycle all over again.
I would like to maintain reasonable good health, exercise a few times a week. But no. I’m either in the gym at 6 a.m. daily for months at a time, or my ass is on the couch. Either I’m feeling great and training for some athletic event or I’m too fat for my clothes and I’m stressing out about it, sitting in WeightWatchers meetings.
I would like to be in touch with my God and my spiritual side. But I’m either skipping synagogue for months at a time until I feel miserably disconnected or I’m going multiple times a week and I’ve caved in to being on this committee or that. (See previous comments on burn-out).
Right now I’m in a good place. I’m healthy. I’m trim. I’ve got my God working for me and I’m trying to work for God too (as we believers are wont to do). But I’m tired. I work, I run, I do yoga, I go to the gym, I go to play dates, I go to dinners and happy hours, I read when I can, and then I go home and hide in my closet or in the bath tub or in my space.
I’ve got two kids, two jobs, one writer’s group, one playgroup, one synagogue. I’ve got active projects: two short stories I can’t seem to finish and a novel waiting to be written. I’ve got friends I miss and need to see more of and acquaintances that I see too often because it’s hard to say no.
I was feeling kind of bad about the fact that I can’t seem to hit a happy medium in any area of my life, until I found this quote:
"Moderation? It's mediocrity, fear, and confusion in disguise. It's the devil's dilemma. It's neither doing nor not doing. It's the wobbling compromise that makes no one happy. Moderation is for the bland, the apologetic, for the fence-sitters of the world afraid to take a stand. It's for those afraid to laugh or cry, for those afraid to live or die. Moderation...is lukewarm tea, the devil's own brew."
--Dan Millman, The Way of the Peaceful Warrior
Fine. Excellent, in fact. I’ll take it just like that. I embrace it. I’m done fighting it. Today, I get it. I admit it. Screw mediocrity.
Summer should be hot, work should be hard, laughter should be loud (and mine is). Life should be lived.
The middle ground can get bent.
Comments