Funk

I am in one. Clearly evidenced by my absence. I’ve always thought of a funk as simply a mood. One’s ill temper. A bad humor that eventually passes. Behold Funk & Wagnall’s opinion on the subject:
1. n. A state of fear or panic, esp. in the phrase "to be in a blue funk.”
Hmmm. I had no idea. That doesn’t quite do my current disposition justice.

And dictionary.com:
1. Slang. An unsophisticated quality or atmosphere of a region or locality: “The setting is country funk”.
That’s way off. Let’s try Thesaurus.com:
Funk: noun. depression; synonyms: alarm, cold sweat*, despondency, fear, fright, gloom, misery, panic, trembling
So you get the idea. While I personally would not have classified my funk as remotely fear-related, maybe it is.

My best friend is leaving (moving out of state) tomorrow morning. I confess: That’s scary to me.

I will be 35 soon. Ugh. I have never in my life been bothered by a birthday. But this one. Unknown territory is always slightly frightening, is it not?

I haven’t written anything in a month. I’m scared to start again. It's nerve-racking.

I haven’t run or done much of any other kind of exercise in a month. It's daunting to start again.

Elias turns 3 on Saturday. I have a 3 year old. Yet, I oftentimes still feel far too much of a girl to be a mommy. It's overwhelming.

JM leaves on Saturday for Germany and for all intents and purposes, I will be a single parent for 10 days. Terrifying.

That’s about all. Not so bad I guess once you write it down. Or horrifying. Either one. It's funkifying, to say the least.

Comments

Crazy MomCat said…
Well, there you go! You got this first post behind you and now you can get back to blogging again and make us all real happy!

Seriously, I know what you're feeling in some ways. I know I'm not there in Austin, but I feel the same way about Lis moving. And, facing 35, your boy's birthday, and 10 days with no break? Well, that's enough to send any of us to the madhouse, girlfriend!

Lean on us, Tam. We've been there and if we haven't we will BE THERE for you to defunkify you if we can!
Naomi said…
Glad to see you back :-)

I get into those funks, especially when lots of changes are going on. I tend to adopt the "bury my head in the sand approach" and hope that everything will just go away or sort itself out. It doesn't happen though and I then end up in a manic daze trying to do a million things at once.

I turn 35 next year and am in denial already. I've been asked my age a few times recently and I really really really want to say 32 and have to force myself to say 34.

Hope that you're defunked soon.
babs said…
I'm right there with you sister, and I have to say you hide your funk really well... You've seemed like your perky little self the past few nights!

AND omg on the weight loss... way to go!!!
Nicole said…
I'm glad you're back! I feel like playing Pollyanna and saying you should be happy and proud about the weight loss, and you can come visit Lisa and me anytime and get away when you need to! But I know what you mean about feeling overwhelmed. I was there a couple months ago when Coops turned 2, we decided he was the last, and I was having a family conflict with my in-laws. If you'll recall I ended up in the doctor's office with a prescription for Wellbutrin. But I ended up feeling better after venting to my husband and forcing myself to exercise. The good news is that nothing is permanent. Hang in there!

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