Self-Portrait in a List of 20 Things

1. I love my children. They are the most beautiful beings I have ever seen.


2. I believe in God, but not necessarily in Heaven or Hell. I question religion.


3. I do not like birds. Of any kind. I cannot help but question anyone who keeps a bird as a pet.


4. I wish I were more mysterious but I talk too much to be mysterious.


5. When I was eight years old, I killed a praying mantis, just to see what would happen. I cried, guilt-ridden, for days. I still don't understand what made me do that. I wish I hadn't.


6. I have cried like a child in the dentist's chair. More than once.


7. I am a raging liberal. And I have a secret crush on George Will. I know, I know. Believe me, I know. But I can't help it. He's so confident. Or maybe it's the bow ties.


8. I like the smell of gasoline.


9. I would like to meet the writer behind Cookie Monster. Cookie monster makes me laugh out loud. Listen to him some time. It’s not all silliness. He's actually very, very funny.


10. I prefer to have water with me at all times.


11. My socks never match. My children’s socks only match when I think other people will be able to see them. I worry that they will one day hate me for this.


12. I like to sweat. It's good for you.


13. I need approval, and I really wish I didn't. You don't think that's bad, do you?


14. When I was a little girl, I believed I would be a blind old woman before I died. I still can't help but believe this is true.


15. When I'm stressed, I pick at my fingernails and my toenails, sometimes until they bleed.


16. I do not like to be told what to do. It bugs me when someone says, even nicely, "Hand me those keys" or "Grab me a coke." Why can't you just ask? Or say please? How about, "Hand me those keys, will you?" or "Would you mind getting me a coke while you're in there?" Use your manners, people. Please.


17. You are not to touch my nose. Nobody touches my nose. Ever.


18. I have personal space issues. I don’t know that I would call it claustrophobia because I can keep it in check. I don’t panic. But please don’t crowd me.


19. I carry a man's wallet.


20. I find this list to be more revealing than I intended. Alarmingly so, for me. If I actually post it, tonight I will alternately repress, dance with, and nurse this little knot within my stomach --until I log on again tomorrow and decide that it was really no big deal…

(This entry is in response to this week's Mama Says Om Theme: 20 Things.)